Hasfutbif is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, quiet alligator.

Hasfutbif created the Tadpole Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasfutbif, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hasfutbif, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Hasfutbif's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hasfutbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hasfutbif.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not hurt ducks.