Honlarpgil is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, humorless raccoon.

Honlarpgil created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honlarpgil, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Honlarpgil, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Honlarpgil's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Honlarpgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never feed cucumbers to bats while wearing pink corsets.

5. Never write about gravity.