Tunzigwig Lanfemsid is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unjust rhinoceros.

Tunzigwig Lanfemsid created the Whirlpool Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Tunzigwig Lanfemsid, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tunzigwig Lanfemsid, he will turn you into a snail.

Tunzigwig Lanfemsid's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tunzigwig Lanfemsid's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three pigs approach from the south.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Erect four gold sculptures of Tunzigwig Lanfemsid on top of important buildings.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.