Tarpfubgid is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unfair hippopotamus.

Tarpfubgid created a down quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfubgid, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tarpfubgid, it will turn you into a worm.

Tarpfubgid's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Tarpfubgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near otters.

2. Always obey Tarpfubgid's priests.

3. Never hurt snakes.

4. Erect four tin sculptures of Tarpfubgid on top of important buildings.

5. Never look in ponds.