Dutarmbedgedhadhatcin Nulzenkipwodran Lancatbab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, bad-tempered whale.

Dutarmbedgedhadhatcin Nulzenkipwodran Lancatbab created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dutarmbedgedhadhatcin Nulzenkipwodran Lancatbab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dutarmbedgedhadhatcin Nulzenkipwodran Lancatbab, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dutarmbedgedhadhatcin Nulzenkipwodran Lancatbab's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Dutarmbedgedhadhatcin Nulzenkipwodran Lancatbab's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

2. Erect six silicon sculptures of Dutarmbedgedhadhatcin Nulzenkipwodran Lancatbab on top of important buildings.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Never hurt eagles.