Wittadtaf is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, witless narwhal.

Wittadtaf created the world four years ago.

If you believe in Wittadtaf, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wittadtaf, it will make you grow a tail.

Wittadtaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Wittadtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Do not listen to music.