Popyoklakcat is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, proud swallow.

Popyoklakcat created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Popyoklakcat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Popyoklakcat, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Popyoklakcat's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Popyoklakcat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Popyoklakcat on top of all buildings.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Nematodes are not to be trusted.