Teennigbem is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omniscient fox.

Teennigbem created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Teennigbem, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Teennigbem, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Teennigbem's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Teennigbem's Holy Commandments

1. Put Teennigbem first in all things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not hurt ants.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.