Pitonttar is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, capable finch.

Pitonttar created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitonttar, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pitonttar, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Pitonttar's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Pitonttar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Run away from mauve bats, for they are unholy.

3. Do not take Pitonttar's name in vain.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.