Yarlfebxem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, tiresome scorpion.

Yarlfebxem created the Sol system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlfebxem, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yarlfebxem, he will turn you into a goat.

Yarlfebxem's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yarlfebxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never hurt ants.

3. Always help capybaras.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarlfebxem.