Flancamcit is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, wise walrus.

Flancamcit created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Flancamcit, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flancamcit, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flancamcit's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Flancamcit's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat swans with great respect.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.