Bomappwat is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, self-assured gorilla.

Bomappwat created vertebrates two years ago.

If you believe in Bomappwat, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bomappwat, he will torture you forever.

Bomappwat's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Bomappwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill doves.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never mention capybaras.