Vabhonfit is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, impressive walrus.

Vabhonfit created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabhonfit, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Vabhonfit, he will send you a sign.

Vabhonfit's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Vabhonfit's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Worship no other gods but Vabhonfit.

5. Run away if seven sharks approach from the south.