Yetvogcen is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, pitiless fairy.

Yetvogcen created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Yetvogcen, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yetvogcen, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yetvogcen's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Yetvogcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Run away from red voles, for they are unholy.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.