Yarpbifkin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, annoying wren.

Yarpbifkin created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbifkin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarpbifkin, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yarpbifkin's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Yarpbifkin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

2. Always help doves in need.

3. You must never eat turnips.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.