Dapvandotcibyogwikmigfet is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, grumpy jellyfish.

Dapvandotcibyogwikmigfet created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapvandotcibyogwikmigfet, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dapvandotcibyogwikmigfet, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dapvandotcibyogwikmigfet's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dapvandotcibyogwikmigfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never feed carrots to ants while wearing cyan skirts.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.