Fubwapvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, conceited mole.

Fubwapvonk created Africa five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fubwapvonk, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fubwapvonk, he will turn you into a frog.

Fubwapvonk's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Fubwapvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fubwapvonk.

2. Never mention hamsters.

3. Never hurt ducks.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.