Sandlunpas is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, egotistical pig.

Sandlunpas created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandlunpas, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sandlunpas, it will turn you into a slug.

Sandlunpas' most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Sandlunpas' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight seals approach from the north.

2. Always look after injured capybaras.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never write about gravity.