Sawlargsogcub is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, sage weasel.

Sawlargsogcub created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawlargsogcub, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sawlargsogcub, she will turn you into a tree.

Sawlargsogcub's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Sawlargsogcub's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not kill swans.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

4. Do not speak about cucumbers.

5. Run away from yellow voles, for they are unholy.