Larnyarplap Sandflapquill is a god.

She takes the form of a large, caring walrus.

Larnyarplap Sandflapquill created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnyarplap Sandflapquill, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Larnyarplap Sandflapquill, she will turn you into a rat.

Larnyarplap Sandflapquill's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Larnyarplap Sandflapquill's Holy Commandments

1. Larnyarplap Sandflapquill loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help snakes in need.