Somgepkap is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unjust faun.

Somgepkap created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somgepkap, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Somgepkap, it will turn you into a mouse.

Somgepkap's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Somgepkap's Holy Commandments

1. Somgepkap loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Hide if three sharks approach from the north.

5. Put Somgepkap first in all things.