Habcussgam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, loving scorpion.

Habcussgam created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Habcussgam, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Habcussgam, he will turn you into a mole.

Habcussgam's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Habcussgam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Worship no other gods but Habcussgam.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always help sick birds.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.