Rutgarflab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful walrus.

Rutgarflab created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Rutgarflab, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rutgarflab, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rutgarflab's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Rutgarflab's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Rutgarflab.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not dye your hair indigo.

5. Never look at comets.