Bessdav is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, cheerful clam.

Bessdav created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bessdav, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bessdav, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bessdav's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Bessdav's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet hats.

2. Never think ill of sick otters.

3. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

4. You must never eat turnips.

5. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Bessdav on top of important buildings.