Beghinmid is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, irritating cat.

Beghinmid created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Beghinmid, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Beghinmid, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Beghinmid's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Beghinmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Always help sick pigs.