Negpangcun Pashomcin is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, witless dove.

Negpangcun Pashomcin created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negpangcun Pashomcin, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Negpangcun Pashomcin, it will turn you into a frog.

Negpangcun Pashomcin's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Negpangcun Pashomcin's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine monkeys approach from the south.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never eat green fruit.