Ditponlid is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, emotional human.

Ditponlid created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditponlid, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ditponlid, it will turn you into a rock.

Ditponlid's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Ditponlid's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to nematodes while wearing black skirts.

2. Never think ill of sick ants.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Ditponlid must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never mention tortoises.