Largpastitligstipmifdadnell is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, staggering hummingbird.

Largpastitligstipmifdadnell created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Largpastitligstipmifdadnell, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Largpastitligstipmifdadnell, he will turn you into a dog.

Largpastitligstipmifdadnell's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Largpastitligstipmifdadnell's Holy Commandments

1. Put Largpastitligstipmifdadnell first in all things.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Largpastitligstipmifdadnell.

3. Largpastitligstipmifdadnell must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. You must never eat peas.