Bigquartdot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, selfish warg.

Bigquartdot created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigquartdot, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bigquartdot, she will turn you into a snail.

Bigquartdot's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bigquartdot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never mention grasshopers.

5. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.