Nuthomjig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, calm bat.

Nuthomjig created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuthomjig, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nuthomjig, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Nuthomjig's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Nuthomjig's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry eagles.

2. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

3. Always look after injured bats.

4. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.