Padspagcudpang is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, uncaring wasp.

Padspagcudpang created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padspagcudpang, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Padspagcudpang, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Padspagcudpang's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Padspagcudpang's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry seals.

2. Always wear violet.

3. You must love Padspagcudpang.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.