Flapomtdod Flanzagdudgubjanfaryatt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, passionate newt.

Flapomtdod Flanzagdudgubjanfaryatt created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Flapomtdod Flanzagdudgubjanfaryatt, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flapomtdod Flanzagdudgubjanfaryatt, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Flapomtdod Flanzagdudgubjanfaryatt's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Flapomtdod Flanzagdudgubjanfaryatt's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Do not chop down trees.