Quagsterjop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, astonishing owl.

Quagsterjop created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagsterjop, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quagsterjop, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quagsterjop's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Quagsterjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about monkeys.

2. Always help dogs in need.

3. Always treat horses with great respect.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quagsterjop.