Danvanbep Nuttlaming Lunwancamdodgod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, overgenerous hedgehog.

Danvanbep Nuttlaming Lunwancamdodgod created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Danvanbep Nuttlaming Lunwancamdodgod, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Danvanbep Nuttlaming Lunwancamdodgod, he will curse you with boils.

Danvanbep Nuttlaming Lunwancamdodgod's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Danvanbep Nuttlaming Lunwancamdodgod's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Always help tortoises in need.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about pigs.