Nutcedbad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, irritating goat.

Nutcedbad created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutcedbad, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nutcedbad, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nutcedbad's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Nutcedbad's Holy Commandments

1. Nutcedbad loves sheep, so they must be respected.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to music.