Ortbuszag is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, effective fox.

Ortbuszag created bats nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortbuszag, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ortbuszag, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Ortbuszag's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Ortbuszag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not eat strawberries.

3. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

4. Ortbuszag must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.