Zigarnweg is a god.

He takes the form of a large, omniscient bat.

Zigarnweg created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Zigarnweg, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zigarnweg, he will turn you into a slug.

Zigarnweg's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Zigarnweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never feed coconuts to tortoises while wearing blue shoes.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.