Ratpangnib is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, dishonourable monkey.

Ratpangnib created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratpangnib, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Ratpangnib, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ratpangnib's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Ratpangnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sharks.

2. Do not wear black clothing.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. You must pray to Ratpangnib five times a day.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.