Yarvilrat is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, conceited monkey.

Yarvilrat created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarvilrat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarvilrat, he will refuse to believe in you.

Yarvilrat's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Yarvilrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always obey Yarvilrat's priests.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarvilrat.

5. Do not stand on grass.