Bepdidtam is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, humane cat.

Bepdidtam created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Bepdidtam, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bepdidtam, it will turn you into a slug.

Bepdidtam's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bepdidtam's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Do not take Bepdidtam's name in vain.