Yatmadjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, compassionate mongoose.

Yatmadjarn created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatmadjarn, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yatmadjarn, it will turn you into a mouse.

Yatmadjarn's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Yatmadjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured foxes.

2. Never hurt goats.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.