Nurtsaffen is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, quiet mongoose.

Nurtsaffen created the Small Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsaffen, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nurtsaffen, she will turn you into a slug.

Nurtsaffen's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nurtsaffen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always obey Nurtsaffen's priests.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Always help sick porpoises.