Bassmismap is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, temperamental jackal.

Bassmismap created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassmismap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bassmismap, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bassmismap's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Bassmismap's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.