Watfidlapquart is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, caring pigeon.

Watfidlapquart created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watfidlapquart, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Watfidlapquart, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Watfidlapquart's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Watfidlapquart's Holy Commandments

1. Moths are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always help sick squirrels.

4. Never think ill of sick eagles.

5. Always help dogs.