Sugflamcum is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, cheerful horse.

Sugflamcum created an electron seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sugflamcum, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sugflamcum, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Sugflamcum's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Sugflamcum's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Run away if five dolphins approach from the south.

3. Never sit near cats.

4. You must love Sugflamcum.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.