Ranjarnkip is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omniscient beaver.

Ranjarnkip created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ranjarnkip, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ranjarnkip, he will turn you into a mouse.

Ranjarnkip's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Ranjarnkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ants.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always help sick swans.

5. Do not drink water in purple rooms.