Tofnartgep is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, blissful mole.

Tofnartgep created a photon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofnartgep, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tofnartgep, she will cry a lot.

Tofnartgep's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Tofnartgep's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not kill sharks.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tofnartgep.

5. Never write about gravity.