Flagfotbam is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, humane mole.

Flagfotbam created the planet Jupiter four years ago.

If you believe in Flagfotbam, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flagfotbam, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Flagfotbam's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Flagfotbam's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Put Flagfotbam first in all things.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not eat apples.