Hudvogvid is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic turtle.

Hudvogvid created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hudvogvid, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hudvogvid, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hudvogvid's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Hudvogvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not eat limes.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.