Bogwodwig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, humorless goat.

Bogwodwig created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogwodwig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bogwodwig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bogwodwig's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Bogwodwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect eight tin sculptures of Bogwodwig on top of important buildings.

4. Run away if three turtles approach from the north.

5. Bogwodwig loves squirrels, so they must be respected.